I don’t really do Twitter, but I’m a photographer and do Instagram pretty actively.
So many moms and women I see on that platform describe themselves first as wives and mothers.
And they are.
And I’m sure they’re proud of it. I am.
But who THEY are is second.
How they describe themselves is as who they are in association to other people in their lives.
I made the conscious decision about a year ago to include that I’m a wife and a mother on my bio, but after I describe who I am first.
I think so often as women we can feel guilty if we don’t first identify ourselves as wives and mothers. Like, if that’s not the leading and most important thing about us we’re selfish and bad at those roles. That we’re putting ourselves ahead of our families in the worst ways. (Even though men aren’t held to those same standards.)
Being married, tying yourself to another person, is so, so important and special.
But I’m guessing that person didn’t fall in love with you because you were with them with them. Because of your relationship title.
It was your talents, your dreams, and your quirks that they loved.
Let the world see you as those who love you do.
Being independent doesn’t mean you can’t be in a committed relationship… Can’t be a good parent. Being an independent and accomplished individual makes you better at those things.
Men are so often mocked for acting too much like women.
I remember the single act that really got me thinking about the quiet, engrained, and socially sanctioned sexism in our society was a man mocking his friends.
A man working at Home Depot saw some of his buddies working down a specific aisle and he called down to them in a ribbing and “I love ya so I’m going to insult you” manner, “hey ladies! Why don’t you get to work?!”.
He called them ladies. Like, a man being a lady implies he’s weak, slow, unable to work, and a whole host of negative imagery.
Another example I can think of I have personal experience in is during football season… A man I know calls the Vikings the “Viqueens” when they play his favorite team. Again, feminizing them in order to bring them shame and to show their inferiority.
No one uses being manly as an insult except when it’s being directed towards a woman to imply she’s not feminine enough to be pleasing to look at or trying to take a man’s place in whatever she’s doing.
Women in America undoubtedly have more opportunities and more rights than we ever have before. But it’s this undercurrent of thought that women and femininity is the lesser of things to be.
It is weak.
It is frail.
It is inferior.
It is subpar.
It is because men, and women too, are taught these things, not overtly… But very subtly, that women have less opportunity.
They don’t deserve harder jobs because they can’t really handle them.
They don’t deserve higher wages because they don’t do the job as well.
They don’t deserve my vote because they’re too emotional or irrational.
If they’re being strong or though it’s obviously an act/for show because women aren’t strong and tough.
Sexism isn’t always a slap on the ass by a stranger.
Sometimes, sexism is the worldview of those you love most.
He’s been so outspoken about toxic masculinity and it just gives me so much hope
Terry Crews is everything good and right with our world.
This was the moment I knew I would always love Terry Crews. Because he is shown a picture of himself with his clutch, and he says, “Women have the best ideas.” He does not go into a sloppy explanation about he’s “manly enough” to carry a purse. There’s no “I am a real man” horseshit dropped here. What he says is “Women have the best ideas.” And the rest of the story is basically, “I want to carry my own shit, and my wife always carries a purse with her own shit, so I got a purse for mine.”
Like, this is equality 101. You want to carry your own shit, grab a purse. There should be no judgement for carrying your own shit.
Terry Crews does not need our protection, but we must protect Terry Crews at all costs.
I also love how he doesn’t have to call it a “man bag”. He doesn’t have to try to change it to make it acceptable enough or “manly” enough.
I mean part of me is just angry at how wrong this is but the other part of me feels bad for you because you’ve obviously never had sex with a decent person.
Aww, it’s really sweet you want to make this all about me. Thanks.
I can also see your line of logic perfectly.
I recognize a flaw in the way women have to behave in many cases to avoid intimacy with a man… Therefore none of my sexual encounters have been with decent people.
It’s the magic bullet of anti-feminism.
Some of the people I’ve slept with have turned out to be crappy people. Some are great people. Doesn’t make the fact that women don’t have privilege because they “get to” fake being ill to have their ‘no’ taken seriously.
Using this line of argument, by a woman, to get out of sex suggests that the two people are close, familiar, and probably in a relationship.
The guy thinks he’s just convincing his girl friend/wife that she really wants to fool around and needs a reason HE finds satisfactory to stop his pursuit. Women are usually conditioned to not be aggressive and to not hurt men’s feelings so they passively lie about why they don’t want to.
It seems benign but it really outlines a deeper issue of how society trains and expects men and women to behave.
That a woman can’t just say no…. She has to have a good enough reason for her no to be accepted.
I also don’t think every guy who has had this line used against him is a bad person, a horrible person, a disrespectful person. Just a person who needs to be reminded that women don’t owe you sex unless medically unable to do so.
The main problem with the original photo I posted was that someone out there thinks women having to come up with excuses or headaches or anything else to avoid sex they don’t want (even with someone they love) is a privilege.
The main problem with your response is you have to attack me personally, about my sexual history, to try and make your point.