I don’t really do Twitter, but I’m a photographer and do Instagram pretty actively.
So many moms and women I see on that platform describe themselves first as wives and mothers.
And they are.
And I’m sure they’re proud of it. I am.
But who THEY are is second.
How they describe themselves is as who they are in association to other people in their lives.
I made the conscious decision about a year ago to include that I’m a wife and a mother on my bio, but after I describe who I am first.
I think so often as women we can feel guilty if we don’t first identify ourselves as wives and mothers. Like, if that’s not the leading and most important thing about us we’re selfish and bad at those roles. That we’re putting ourselves ahead of our families in the worst ways. (Even though men aren’t held to those same standards.)
Being married, tying yourself to another person, is so, so important and special.
But I’m guessing that person didn’t fall in love with you because you were with them with them. Because of your relationship title.
It was your talents, your dreams, and your quirks that they loved.
Let the world see you as those who love you do.
Being independent doesn’t mean you can’t be in a committed relationship… Can’t be a good parent. Being an independent and accomplished individual makes you better at those things.
Hey there, I’m a black woman artist from London currently working on a piece for an exhibition coming up which is exploring black femininity, the unfiltered voice, connectivity & community online – I was wondering if you could reblog my call out post as I’m trying to include as many Black womxn voices as possible. If you could that would be amazing and please take part in it yourself if you can! The project/post link is the only post on my page so you can find it there – Thank you in advance!
Okay but how is this our problem? What’s the context?
Thank you, like what does this have to do with me? I’m supposed to be considerate of what here, a lack of socialization?
You’re supposed to be aware that some people were raised to be tolerated and that transfers into their adult life. Always being alone as a child doesn’t help you grow into a social adult. It leads you to be friends with people you believe are your friends but are only tolerating you. It leads you to believe that the people who love you and are around you are only tolerating you because you’re around. It feels scary to ask people for anything because you’re afraid they’ll give you what you want only to get you away from them. It makes you feel unlovable, unsocial, and intolerable to the people you love and should know, love you.
Men are so often mocked for acting too much like women.
I remember the single act that really got me thinking about the quiet, engrained, and socially sanctioned sexism in our society was a man mocking his friends.
A man working at Home Depot saw some of his buddies working down a specific aisle and he called down to them in a ribbing and “I love ya so I’m going to insult you” manner, “hey ladies! Why don’t you get to work?!”.
He called them ladies. Like, a man being a lady implies he’s weak, slow, unable to work, and a whole host of negative imagery.
Another example I can think of I have personal experience in is during football season… A man I know calls the Vikings the “Viqueens” when they play his favorite team. Again, feminizing them in order to bring them shame and to show their inferiority.
No one uses being manly as an insult except when it’s being directed towards a woman to imply she’s not feminine enough to be pleasing to look at or trying to take a man’s place in whatever she’s doing.
Women in America undoubtedly have more opportunities and more rights than we ever have before. But it’s this undercurrent of thought that women and femininity is the lesser of things to be.
It is weak.
It is frail.
It is inferior.
It is subpar.
It is because men, and women too, are taught these things, not overtly… But very subtly, that women have less opportunity.
They don’t deserve harder jobs because they can’t really handle them.
They don’t deserve higher wages because they don’t do the job as well.
They don’t deserve my vote because they’re too emotional or irrational.
If they’re being strong or though it’s obviously an act/for show because women aren’t strong and tough.
Sexism isn’t always a slap on the ass by a stranger.
Sometimes, sexism is the worldview of those you love most.
He’s been so outspoken about toxic masculinity and it just gives me so much hope
Terry Crews is everything good and right with our world.
This was the moment I knew I would always love Terry Crews. Because he is shown a picture of himself with his clutch, and he says, “Women have the best ideas.” He does not go into a sloppy explanation about he’s “manly enough” to carry a purse. There’s no “I am a real man” horseshit dropped here. What he says is “Women have the best ideas.” And the rest of the story is basically, “I want to carry my own shit, and my wife always carries a purse with her own shit, so I got a purse for mine.”
Like, this is equality 101. You want to carry your own shit, grab a purse. There should be no judgement for carrying your own shit.
Terry Crews does not need our protection, but we must protect Terry Crews at all costs.
I also love how he doesn’t have to call it a “man bag”. He doesn’t have to try to change it to make it acceptable enough or “manly” enough.